I have nursed just about everywhere in the thus far total of 28 months that I have nursed my two children. I nurse in restaurants, in cars, in friends’ homes, at amusements parks, on park benches, on the beach, on ferries, in stores and in numerous other places that I cannot recall right now. I am the person who just whips out a breast and starts feeding, albeit I do try to be a bit inconspicuous at times. I never thought I’d be as uninhibited as this, but when I had my first born I found that so many people wanted to help me nurse, that my breasts were more exposed than ever before and I didn’t care. I didn’t mind because it was all about feeding my son the best food he could have so that he would thrive, and since then I don’t really care about who thinks what about my nursing in public.
Nursing on the Beach
But, I know people who do mind. People who, at times, are what I call closet nursers. They feel self conscious and assume that people are looking at them and thinking “why here, do that in private,” or “that’s gross.” Perhaps with more support from society, they wouldn’t feel that nursing is something to hide. I actually have a friend who didn’t nurse because she admitted to me that she finds nursing repulsive, and I have heard a person say that nursing is something that should only be done in private.
Yet, the main reason why women have breasts is so that they can provide milk for their children. And I wonder, when did what was once the ONLY way to feed a human child (I am going back to the beginning of the existence of humans here) become a faux pas? It could have a little to do with when men were taught that women’s breasts were sexual objects solely for their pleasure, though I realize it really has a lot more to do with the emergence of formula being introduced. It boggles my mind that formula was once deemed to be better than human milk (can you believe it was actually marketed as being so!?).
I am not trying to belittle the idea of formula, as I know that without it there would be babies that couldn’t survive as there are women who legitimately cannot produce enough milk to feed their children for varying reasons. BUT, I do question the companies who make some women believe that formula is almost as good for a child as breast milk and that it’s okay to not try so hard to make nursing work because you can easily pour a product into a bottle and hand the baby off to someone else to feed. Let’s really look at this: chemically processed (I don’t care how you slice it, a canned formula is just that), versus naturally occurring milk containing all the nutrients a baby needs for his/her first year and beyond. Formula doesn’t protect babies from disease and illness as breast milk does. Drinking from a bottle doesn’t increase a child’s lung capacity like nursing for at least four months does. And, as I believe, formula feeding a child through a bottle doesn’t create the same bond between mother and child as does nursing. I am not saying that a mother who doesn’t nurse doesn’t have a great bond with her child, but, let’s face it, a formula fed child is typically not snuggled closely to their mother for the amount of hours a nursing baby is, though there are always exceptions to the rule.
My point? A woman nursing her child is only doing what she knows to be as the best form of food for her child and that should be, at the very least accepted, if not honored. A woman should feel comfortable and confident to nurse her child anywhere and anytime she pleases, just as a mother giving her baby a bottle does.
Great article. I have also been breastfeeding my 1 year old anywhere and at anytime. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I am just doing what is best for me and my daughter. It is a shame that sometimes other feel pressure not to breastfeed in public.
Hi, I have a question for all the Mum’s out there please. I have a little 8 week old who was born early at 35 weeks. He was too small to suck and had to be taught in hospital. I spent 3 weeks with daily chats and help from 3 lactation consultants and cried my eyes out the first time we got him on the breast. Unfortunately my dairy farm has gone broke – I’m just a very unproductive heifer!!! After 7 weeks of trying to express milk for him and putting him on the breast only to have him beat me up and hurt me through frustration, I have finally given up. The exhaustion from being up 24 hours a day breast and bottle feeding and expressing took it’s toll and I have had to realise that I’m not being a bad Mum by 100% bottle feeding him. I feel AWFUL though! I really wanted to give him the best start I could. I understand that beating myself up about it is not going to help me or him and I am trying to deal with those emotions.
My question though, is this – what can I do from now into his childhood that will help him develop a good immune system? I know I can’t give him what he would have had through breastmilk but what is the best I can give him? I have made the choice not to vaccinate as I believe this will not help his immune system but any further advice would be appreciated.
Thanks, Sam.
ps – this was my 1st visit to your site, well done – I have bookmarked it for future visits. 🙂
Hi Samantha! Are you a member of our facebook page? Do you belong to facebook – I can repost this question there and you will get a lot of answers – that’s where everyone seems to share advice!
You have written a well thought out meaningful post. Great job! As the mother of an almost 13 year old son I do want to give some input. First, when my son was born he nursed for a few weeks but problems developed so for both he & I bottle feeding worked much better. I felt (closet) guilt over this but I’m now over it! 🙂 I can tell you because I’m a parent of any older child there are MANY ways to develop a EXTEMELY close bond with your child. I don’t know a parent any closer with their child then my son & me. We spend a substantial amount of time together, we take a mom & son trip alone once a year (yes, I’m married to his dad), we take a couple of family trips a year, I listen (really listen) to what he has to say which can be a lot if you listen to a middle schooler & I spend time learning & enjoying things that interest him. I know many children that have been sicker & less smart that have been breast fed. I know many children bottle fed with problems. Take a poll of adults that know if they were bottle or breast fed & see if they feel a stronger bond. All I’m trying to say is if breast feeding is what you choose & it works out that is FANTASTIC for both mother & child but be sensitive to those that either didn’t choose it or it didn’t work out because either way in the end it’s not what will make or break your relationship with your child. Just wait until they are preteens & teens that is when the bonds really form for life. Being their parent first & friend second will be one of the most difficult things you will ever do! Be prepared to be open minded & understanding or otherwise emotionally you may lose that precious baby when they get older to those that do listen & understand. Again, CONGRATS on your breast feeding success & HAPPY PARENTING! ~ Steph
Thanks for sharing your experience! My mother did not nurse me, as back when I was born she was told that formula was better. We have a great relationship, with an unexplainable and unbreakable bond as well!
Dawn,
I love nursing my baby girl (3 and a half months old) and would love to do just that but I have to return to work soon. I am concerned that the only way that she will go to sleep ( take naps) is with me nursing her down on my bed ( I cosleep with my baby at night). I was wondering if you or anyone had a suggestion on what I should or could do to help her take naps without nursing her down. Just to make it easier for my mom and then my friend who is watching her take a nap. Ps she doesnt like the pacifier and I am not into letting her cry herself to sleep. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated 🙂
One other question don’t know if this is where I should be asking but I will anyway just because I am curious. I have not vaccinated my daughter yet and I dont think I am going to. Does anyone know of a daycare that will take unvaccinated children. I work and live on the south shore so that is where I am looking.
Thanks for all your articles I look foward when I get to read a new one
Nadine
Hi Nadine! My daughter is almost 14 months and she is still sleeping in my bed partially because I can’t get her to sleep without nursing her, though I haven’t really tried because I guess I am not really ready! I had this same problem with my son when i went back to work. Everything just kind of worked itself out. I would send him with a bottle of my milk. I don’t know how the sitter or my mom got him down, but they did. In fact, he would faithfully show the sitter (he went 2 times a week) he was ready for his nap and she would put him down with no problem and he would sleep for 2+ hours, which he would never do for us! I think that your daughter knows you give her milk and this is comfort and so that’s the only way she wants to be put to sleep, but she’ll soon learn, if she doesn’t know already, that no one else can do this for her and if you are not around she’ll find comfort another way. As far as the vaccine info, you have the right to a religious exemption anywhere you take her. If you are taking her to someones house, they won’t ask for anything. If taking her to a center, they may, and you provide your religious letter. I will e mail you more info on this! Also, I will post your nursing questions on the Raising Natural Kids facebook page, where you’ll get other suggestions as well!
See if your child care provider would be willing to use a sling with your baby, especially if you use one with your baby. Your baby will equate nursing and sleeping in the sling, and when someone she knows can’t give her milk holds her in the sling she will fall asleep when tired. I breastfed my three girls for years, and also did day care for breastfed babies, and this always worked like a charm for me – actually I think the birth mom started using a sling after I used it for her babies, seeing how well it worked.
Hi Dawn! Hope all is well:-) I am not sure if I am responding in the correct manner, having never before done so but I HAD to write to you. I NEVER respond to anything – on FB or blogs, etc. but in addition to wanting to commend your wonderfully written article (YOU GO GIRL!), I wanted to tell you HOW MUCH it has affected me. Tonight was not a good night – definitely the worst since you know who came home. I have not eaten or showered – it feels like in way too long, and more bothersome to me – the older guys are testing everything and the baby screamed for hours tonight. I ended up giving him some formula as I am just not producing enough in the evening. I came downstairs (to hop on the computer and BREATHE) and just as I had convinced myself that it is okay to start giving the baby bottles of formula (and I still know that it is ‘okay’ but not what I truly want to do right now), I feel inspired to try (yet again) to KEEP (almost soley) nursing and TRY to build up my supply – BEFORE stopping… THANK YOU for the ‘pep talk’ – I too am A LOT more comfortable ‘whipping out my boob’ than I EVER thought I would be as I know it is what he needs and deserves. Thanks for your article and the help and encouragement (and reminders of WHY I/we do this) – it was JUST what I needed!!! Hope to see you all very soon! Brandi:-)
Thanks for the encouraging words Brandi!! The two things you need the most to help build your supply, that I don’t think you are getting (knowing you) are sleep and some good food. Do you have mother’s milk tea and slow cooking (old fashion) oatmeal? Those may help too. My midwife had told me that!